i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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