So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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