his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
