definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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