i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
