this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
smell my finger.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
