My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
