is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
