I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
i need some magic done to my vagina
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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