what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
