so let's talk penis.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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