I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
