We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
