so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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