he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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