i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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