Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
