i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
