Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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