OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Non-Jews are for practice
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
