she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
