I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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