Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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