I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
