hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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