I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
