who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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