I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize