he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
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