Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
