Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but donβt have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize