I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
