in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
