so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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