Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
