Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
