My pussy is not your playground.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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