What a fucking waste of an outfit
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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