im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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