where am i from again
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
A bitchslap is in order.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
