we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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