Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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