K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
My hand turned me down
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
