He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
