Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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