i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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