you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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