I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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