I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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