Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
