I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
