no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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