the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize