he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
