Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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