By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
