I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
