Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
